Mother's Day Observation

here's what I shared during church liturgy on mom's day 2005:

I'm Alecia Kleiner. Deviating from our typical liturgy this week, I'm not bringing a poem, or lovely piece of Motherly prose--but rather an observation.

Being a mother is terrifying.
Writing about being a mother is terrifying.
Standing here sharing what I've written about being a mother is so terrifying I may die and miss Brunch.

There are many misty eyes stories of my journey to motherhood. But if I cry today, it's over for me. I'll be banned from speaking at church--a big Scarlett Letter P for Pentacostal on my chest.
So I'm not even going down that road today.

My observation is that the business of motherhood is NOISY.

The physical auditory assault is real. Ask anyone who's ever ridden in my van. It's part hip-hop, part beauty, part conflict, part laughter, part infantile assertion--pure madness. But more than the physical NOISE, it's the cultural, spiritual and personal noise that threatens my sanity daily. Sometimes I feel like a borderline schizophrenic. Voices and images flooding my mind. The beautiful, primal act of mothering is often reduced to this in my head...( imagine loud, distorted, guitar ramblings with me yelling over the top...)

AM I ENOUGH. WILL I LOVE THEM ENOUGH. WILL THEY LOVE ME BACK? CAN I FORGIVE MY OWN MOTHER? WILL VACCINES KILL THEM? IS PUBLIC SCHOOL GOING TO RUIN THEM? THEY'LL BE LIFELONG UNDERACHIEVERS. DID I HOLD HER TOO MUCH? NOT ENOUGH? WILL SHE ATTACH? WILL SHE KNOW HOW MUCH I WANTED HER? FAMILY BED, BABY BED, WRONG PRESCHOOL, WRONG COLLEGE..WE ARE ALL GOING TO NEED VERY EXPENSIVE, INVASIVE THERAPY.

Am I alone? This mothering business bring out the kooks and their oppinions. Everyone has a theory and a 5 step plan to parenting bliss. Amazon had over 65,000 hits for parenting--over 17, 000 for mothering alone. Some of my favorite titles are:
-Perfect Madness: Motherhood in th Age of Anxiety
-The Mommy Myth: The idealization of motherhood and how it undermines women
-Buddha Mom
-Confessions of a Slacker Mom
-Mothering by Heart
-Mothering against all odds
-Natural Mothering
-Mothering Ourselves
-Good Enough Mother?
-The Impossibility of Motherhood
-Primal Mothering in a Modern World
and my personal favorite:
-Medieval Mothering

Even if you don't read, you can NOT escape the voices...your mom, your grandma, your husband, the news, Oprah, magazines, Nancy Wilson (of Idaho, not Heart) your college professors, each other. As women, and mom's we are some of the loudest and strongest influences on each other. And the things we choose to say to and about each other are terrible.

We have the teaching part down:
"When mine was little, I helped him sleep by..."
"My vast research shows that vaccines are of the devil..."
"Here's my detailed spreadsheet of my grocery store and each items cost..."

We have the rebuke part down:
"I'd never let my child drink..."
"Your child crys every week in the nursery, is something wrong?"
"You let your child drink THAT?"

It's the ENCOURAGEENT part that we suck at. Loving each other enough to be quiet. To allow the other person to just BE. Without judgement and superiority. I'm firmly convinced that as mom's we secretly like it when another mom is losing her grip. It makes us feel better about ourselves. Sick but true. I may be about to lose my mind, but at least I only have five piles of laundry and I know where all MY kids are.

So today, in honor of Mother's Day--we will repent. How's that for warm & fuzzy? Please pray with me:

Lord God, We have sinned against You and each other. Some of us do not value the role of mother enough and WE REPENT. Some of us value the role too highly and WE REPENT. WE REPENT of the ways we speak for YOU--making methods out of your righteous principles. WE REPENT for not loving each other. WE REPENT for not trusting YOU fully and for not being quiet and still so we can hear YOUR voice. Thank you Lord for your forgiveness that floods us today. Thank you for your gracious redemption. Amen